Okay, but if Dana Scully owned an iPhone, this would be its cover.
Oh, Dana Scully, No
2x01 - Little Green Men
Oh, sweet baby Mulder, I know you’re sad because you miss Scully and the light has gone out of your life, etc, but honestly, that facial hair isn’t helping the situation at all, not least because it’s grown in primarily as an awkward moustache. Also, whatever you’ve been doing to style your hair so it looks like a toupe: stop that.
Breaking news: Fuck No Shoulderpads will be returning from accidental hiatus, just as soon as your humble blog leader returns from exile in Brooklyn.
2x01 - Little Green Men
Sweet tap-dancing Jesus, Scully, aren’t you trying to hide from the Feds? I can’t decide if this is Exhibit D in How Not To Costume Your Incredibly Pregnant Lead Actress, or Exhibit A-Z in my upcoming self-help book How Much Is Too Much? When Shoulder Pads Go Too Far.
2x01 - Little Green Men
While you’re enjoying your Sunday brunch, why not also enjoy a trip down sartorial memory lane? Remember the days when suspender width was a way to identify super important men. When banker collars weren’t just for dbag bankers. I can only assume this is the height of fashion on the Hill, because otherwise I have no idea why this man is so satisfied with himself.
2x04 - Sleepless
Good news, Mulder: I figured out why your hair always does that thing! Bad news: Krycek took all the hair gel already.
2x04 - Sleepless
Mulder, I know it’s the 90s and all, but did you need to be the entire 90s? I was going to make a joke about how you came in costume as Jerry Seinfeld, but then I went off on a mental tangent and now I’m angry that both shows are off the air and we will never get the justly-deserved AU in which Scully is Elaine, Skinner is Costanza, and Krycek is Kramer.
2x01 - Little Green Men
Scully, if Tyra Banks could reach across time, what would she say about your silhouette? Probably something like “Girl, I was already famous in the 90s, but even a Barbie who has just come to life doesn’t understand the size of that coat”, or something equally sage.
Confidentially, have you seen this amazing fanart? I died.
2x02 - The Host
Oh, beautiful Scully, why. What the actual fuck. Can we discuss the escalation in fake lapels? And enormous buttons? And what looks like a beige henley with button cuffs? And the only pair of glasses on set? And how your suit matches the computer? THE COMPUTER, SCULLY.
2x01 - Little Green Men
Holiday season got you down? Family stress wearing at your psyche? Just call Dread Pirate Mulder: Bearer of Seasonal Tidings! What season? It doesn’t matter.
